Had my mom on my mind today. Here’s us together in 1986, one of the last photos I have of just the two of us. She was 44 at the time and I was 19.  Today is a milestone for me. I am turning 45, and celebrating a birthday my mom never reached. It’s an odd feeling to be sure. Ever since I made the connection several months ago that I was approaching the age of my mom when she died, I’ve been thinking about it and contemplating what it must have been like for her.  How would I deal with cancer or the prospect of my life being over at this point?  Hard to imagine.. yet I clearly recall my mom having a surprising grace about her as she finished out her life. It amazed me then and it inspires me now even more.

My birthday gift this year and every year for that matter, is another chance to live a life worthy of the calling -  for more than just myself.  I’m excited about it.  It’s an incredible gift.

” I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle: be patient, bearing one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”  - Ephesians 4:1-3

Not sickenly sweet as in “always perfect”, not “bitter-sweet”either, just normal “sweet” – filled with stuff to be savored, and shared of course. So here’s a few of our sweet moments this month.

• Topping the list is Austin’s Tacky Holiday Sweater competition:

Austin was in heated competition to hold on to his Tacky Title since he won it last year. He knew he’d have to pull out all the stops in order to be victorious. So, he souped up a brown sweater with blinking lights, a hip-hop sound track, and topped it off with a gingery scent. In case you are wondering…He did keep his title and now he’s already brainstorming for next year so if you have some good ideas be sure and let him know.

More sweet moments were:

• Andy’s Birthday – guitar hero style
• Christmas Eve – starting a new tradition with some friends. (We drew names & gave each other t-shirts. You really find out what your friends think of you when they pick out a t-shirt for you.)
• Christmas Day – Serving together in our church, giving and receiving gifts, feasting, and feeling the warmth of family.

So much sweetness to savor, So much to sweetness to share.

I can tell it’s getting closer to that day in December when sitting on the couch sipping cocoa will seem the most pressing thing to do. But until then, just for fun, here’s a rewrite of the 12 days of Christmas that sums up our crazy first half of December.

“Halfway through December it has occurred to me…”

• Austin   Kung Fu Fighting
• Ethan    Christmas lighting
• Mae       Glad tidings bearing
• angel costume wearing
• Austin   Skit rehearsing
• Ethan    Sheep dispersing.
• I can be heard blurting…

“What are we supposed to bring?”

• this time is it pie?
• or side dish?
• We’ll just grab it on the way!

“Off we go !”  Lovelace Fa – am – i -ly!

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This year I’ve been especially reflective of that Thanksgiving and especially thankful too, since I have now reached the same age as my mother the year she went to be with the Lord.  I’ve always felt like she was young with so much life yet to live, but of course it strikes me even more now that I’ve arrived at that same point in my life.

I think it may have sounded a bit melodramatic to say at the dinner table today, “Thank you Lord that I’m alive”, but I thought it just the same.  Not only have I been granted life and health today, but the intense privilege of having relationship and time with people I love.   I want to spend that time loving them well.  So well in fact, that when my times comes and I’m no longer at the table maybe they’ll have a moment when they reflect back on the impact of my love and feel especially thankful.  I hope so.

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I seemed to have experienced a case of ’blogger’s block” the past several weeks.  Nothing seemed especially noteworthy. No nuggets of wit or wisdom to share.   I certainly can’t attribute it to a lack of eventfulness in our household.  The kids are all doing great and involved with various events and activities this fall.   I’m beginning to think the real culprit has been my ”heart”.  At first I thought it was a money problem - you know… the “tight budget blues” or something like that.  It sounded harmless, enough.   But the longer it stuck around the more I began to see that my issue wasn’t an empty gas tank, I was running low on something much more important than gas… namely gratitude.  I would liken it to a grown-up version of a “fit”.   You know the kind you see in children  at times when they focus so much on what they can’t have or do that it depletes all the joy out of what they can have or do.  It’s easy to recognize in children, not so easy to see it in yourself.  So my purpose in writing this morning is to ”fill up” and express my gratitude for all that is in my life every single day no matter what the gas meter reads.

• I have a devoted and incredibly wonderful husband who has been my partner though every season of our lives.  He  makes me laugh every single day and tells me that he’s so glad I married him.  I truly feel loved and cherished by him.
• I have three amazing children who fill me with joy everyday. They are each so uniquely gifted making me extremely proud of their accomplishments, but even more so they are quick to show kindness and extend mercy making me deeply proud of their character. I love them so much.

These alone  are enough to fill my heart tank, but there is so much more.

• I have been blessed with lifelong friends and a family that loves and supports us no matter what we face.  Never do we have to go through life feeling alone. They are committed to us and sacrificial in their love for us.
• We have a church family that encourages our faith and rallies to help whenever and however they can. God’s people are a blessing from him.
• And of course there is a loving Heavenly Father…who promises to be a rock I can cling to, a shelter in every storm, the provider of all my needs, the author and finisher of my faith, my hope and my salvation.

What more could I have need of?  So, now I’m reminded, each time that little red line drops closer to the  E  and threatens to rob my joy, of this simple truth…Gratitude is free!  And a heart full of gratitude will be joyful no matter what the circumstances may be.  Here’s a verse to help fill your heart tank today.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want, he makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside still waters, he restores my soul. He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: For You are with me; Your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;  You anoint my head with oil, my cup runs over.  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.      -   Psalm 23

You know that phase we all recognize in people when they start commenting on how fast time flies? You hear them use goofy metaphors like ” Seems like just yesterday you were knee high to a grasshopper” ?  Well I think I’ve slipped into that phase. It snuck up on me.  I’ve tried to ward it off a few times, but now that I’ve posted two entries showing a current picture of austin next to one of him as baby, I think it is official. I really did try just posting the picture of him now and writing a little blip about him going to homecoming when all of a sudden images of him as a little guy in his bow tie flooded my mind and I just couldn’t resist showing you.  “Seems like just yesterday…you can fill in the rest”